Quotes Funny (1257 Designs)

Don’t piss off old people. The older we get, the less ‘life in prison’ is a deterrent.

Life’s biggest tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.

Old? Me? Oh no! I am in the prime of my life. I am somewhere between the young and the restless, the old and senseless.

Did I piss you off? That's great. At least I'm doing something right.

I'm actually not funny. I'm just mean and people think I'm joking.

I am not mean. I am just too old to pretend I like you.

You and I are sisters. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up after I finish laughing.

Yes, my temper is just as short as I am & I'm pretty short.

You can't scare me, I have a crazy bestie. She has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people, and I'm not afraid to use her.

I'm a little smart ass, short and stout. Here is my finger, here is my mouth. When I get all worked up, I will shout.

Rock. Paper. Scissors. Throat punch! I win.

I’m a little smart ass, short and stout. Here is my finger, here is my mouth. When I get all worked up, I will shout

Don't mess with me. My brother is crazy, and he will punch you in the face very hard.

IT'S OK! I'M ON 500MG OF FUKITOL

Retired nurse under new management. see grandkids for details.

If we are in a don’t laugh situation, do not look over at me.

It’s simple. don’t mess with my kids. trust me, i’m one woman you don’t want to cross, cause you have no idea what i’m capable of.

I love you to the moon and back, forever yours

Don’t ask me for advice, I still think punching stupid people in the face is the right answer

Yes, my temper is just as short as I am & I’m pretty short.

Back off. I’ve got enough to deal with today without having to make your death look like an accident

Uncles are not totally useless we can be used as bad examples

Back off i have a crazy sister she has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people and i'm not afraid to use her

You think i'm sassy you should meet the girl i gave birth to

At my funeral take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next

I'm trying to stop being mean but it's like y'all have to stop being stupid first

5 things you should know about my sister

I always carry a little crazy with me 'cause you never know when it's gonna come in handy

I don't go crazy i am crazy i just go normal from time to time

I don't have to i don't want to you can't make me i'm retired

I do what i want where i want when i want! as long as my wife says it's ok

Today i'm doing nothing because i started doing it yesterday and i wasn't finished and i'm no quitter

Back off! i have a crazy wife and i'm not afraid to use her

No one needs to be less white black or brown please just focus on being less dumb

My wife loves my meat

There's no place i'd rather be than "beaver valley"