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Mom's shit list: Don't break shit. Don't fight over shit. Clean up all your shit. Don't act like a shit. But mostly... don't make me lose my shit.
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Back off, I’ve got enough to deal with today without having to make your death look like an accident.
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I annoy stupid people and you are looking a bit upset right now.
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Better worry about your own sins because God ain’t gonna ask you about mine.
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Aging may have slowed me down, but it is yet to shut me up.
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I’m not clumsy. I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
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Some grandmas cuss and will kick your ass if you mess with their grandkids. It’s me. I’m some grandmas.
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Nope, I can’t go to Hell. Satan still has a restraining order against me.
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When I die, I know one of my grandkids will lean in my coffin and whisper, “Can I play a game on your phone?”
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