Funny Sayings (286)

It's not a dad bod it's a Father Figure With Snacks

I hate being this handsome but I'm a Bearded Old Man so I can't Help It

Good men still exist I know because I Married One he's grumpy, stubborn And All Mine

my husband wanted me to be his fishing buddy now he has A Bait Supplier With Opinions

I'm the reason Grandpa has grey hair and the reason He Smiles

I have a Bearded Husband he's grumpy he's hairy He's Mine

You can't scare me I have a Grandpa with a bad back A Good Aim And Time

I'm a Grumpy Old Man my sarcasm comes free but my patience Costs Extra

sweet smart spoiled and backed by A Crazy Grandma Choose Wisely

I'm an Electrician I fix what your husband Tried To Fix

Electrician Rates $50 an hour $75 if you watch $100 if you help $200 If You Tried It First

I'm a Farmer I get up early work all day And Still Can't Afford Retirement

Some guys chase women I chase Cows That Got Out Again

Measure twice cut once then Cuss Three Times

Proud Firefighter's Wife he runs into fire I run The House

CNA caring nursing assisting Exhausted

These hands built your House your road And Your Bad Back

My kitchen My Rules if you don't like it Make Your Own

Retired I worked 40 Years to sit in this Recliner

Cowboy up before the sun in bed after The Cows Every Single Day

Big Sister Rules 1. I'm always right 2. see rule 1 Mom Agrees

I'm the brother it's my job to Annoy You For Life

I annoy my sister but if you hurt her you'll meet the Older Brother Nobody Warned You About

I'm the Best Friend I'm also the Alibi

we'll be Best Friends until we're old and then we'll be Old Friends Causing Trouble

A good friend bails you out a best friend Is Sitting Next To You In Jail

We don't Gossip we just Share Updates loudly

I tease my Sister because I love her A Little Too Much

When we're old we'll be the Grandmas who Started The Fight At Bingo

I don't have friends I have Crazy People who Like Me

My brother can fix Anything with Duct Tape And Prayer

Cousin Crew making Family Reunions loud since Forever

Warning I come with a Best Friend who has no Filter

I'm the Cool Aunt I spoil them then Send Them Home

I'm the Aunt I'm like a mom only Cooler And Louder

Mess with My Nieces and you'll meet Their Crazy Auntie