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Today I don’t feel like doing anything, except my wife. I’d do her.

When i die i know one of my grandkids will lean in my coffin and whisper “can i play a game on your phone?”

As a grandma i’m not perfect i make mistakes i forget things, i lose my cool and somedays i go a little crazy but it’s okay. because in the end, no one could ever love my kids and grandkids

Yes, I am a spoiled granddaughter But not yours I am the treasure of an awesome NANA Yes, I love sarcasm & smartass But he loves me and treats me like a princess You'd better not hurt me

My daughter is turning out to be exactly like me.... well played karma. well played

Don’t mess with me. My grandma is crazy, and she will slap you so hard even Google won’t be able to find you.

5 things you should know about my grandma:

Crazy grandma. She’s beauty, she’s grace. If you mess with her grandson, she’ll punch you in the face

Dear Santa, I tried to be good, but I guess I take after my grandma.

5 Things You Should Know About My Grandpa

You can’t scare me. I have a crazy grandpa. He’s also a grumpy old man. He has anger issues & a serious dislike for stupid people.

I am not retired. I’m under new management. See grandkids for details.

Grandpa, I am there waiting, watching, keeping to the shadows. But when my grandkids need me, I’ll step out of the shadows and protect what’s mine.

I may not be rich and famous, but I do have something that money can’t buy. I have priceless grandchildren.

My kids accuse me of having a favorite child which is ridiculous because my grandkids are my favorite

If mom says no... Ask grandma. If grandma says no... Who are we kidding Grandma never says no.

You can't tell me what to do you're not my daughter

I’m not my mother’s golden child but i was the first one she thought of whenever the cops showed up

Raising my mom is so hard she doesn't listen

You can't scare me i have a crazy daughter she has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people and i'm not afraid to use her

Yes! i'm a spoiled grumpy old man but not yours i'm the property of a freaking awesome wife she's a bit crazy & scares me sometimes mess with me the beast in her will awake & they'll never find your body

never stand between grandpa and his grandkids

Back off i have a crazy daughter she has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people and i'm not afraid to use her

If you think i'm a bitch you are right if you think i'm bossy correct again but if you think i'm gonna put up with your shit you got it twisted

Grandpa knows everything if he doesn't know he makes stuff up really fast

Thinking i’m just a spoiled child was your first mistake i’m a spoiled granddaughter of a crazy grandma she is also a grumpy old woman she has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people you hurt me

I'm the proud son of a freaking awesome mom and yes she bought me this shirt

If i could write a story it would be the greatest ever told of a kind & loving dad who had a heart of gold

The grandma code

My fingers may be small, but i can still wrap grandpa around them.

My son is super awesome, and i’m the lucky one because i get to be his mom.

Sorry ladies i’m married to a freakin’ sexy wife she’s a bit crazy and scares me sometimes but i am her king she is my whole world i love her forever and always

I want my daughter to be kind, but I also want her to know that she can throat punch someone if she needs to.

My wife: the sweetest, most beautiful, loving, amazing, evil, psychotic creature you’ll ever meet

Any woman can be a mom and grandma, but it takes someone blessed to be a great grandma.

Of course I’m cute. Haven’t you seen my grandpa?